Return-Path: Received: from rintintin.Colorado.EDU by ifi.uio.no with ESMTP (8.5/ifi2.3) id ; Mon, 8 Nov 1993 21:26:10 +0100 Received: from localhost (hawks@localhost) by rintintin.Colorado.EDU (8.6.3/8.6.3/CNS-2.0) id NAA29895 for mariusw@ifi.uio.no; Mon, 8 Nov 1993 13:25:35 -0700 From: andy Message-Id: <199311082025.NAA29895@rintintin.Colorado.EDU> Subject: Re: my faq To: mariusw@ifi.uio.no (Marius Ibenhardt Watz) Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1993 13:25:35 -0700 (MST) In-Reply-To: <199311081420.13333.surt@ifi.uio.no> from "Marius Ibenhardt Watz" at Nov 8, 93 03:20:32 pm X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL22] MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Length: 82362 *** EOOH *** Return-Path: From: andy Subject: Re: my faq To: mariusw@ifi.uio.no (Marius Ibenhardt Watz) Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1993 13:25:35 -0700 (MST) In-Reply-To: <199311081420.13333.surt@ifi.uio.no> from "Marius Ibenhardt Watz" at Nov 8, 93 03:20:32 pm X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL22] MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Length: 82362 November 6, 1993 ___ __ __ / _ \ | | | | / /_\ \ | |___| | / ___ \ __ _ __ __ __| ___ | __ __ __ _ __ ___ / / \ \ | \| || \\ \/ /| | | | / \\ \/\/ /| |/ / ( __| /__/ \__\|_|\__||__/ |__| |__| |__|/_/\_\\_/\_/ |_|\_\|___) __________________________________________________________________ | | | Personal FAQ And Informational File | |__________________________________________________________________| "Know Thyself" :::: "Culture Of One" Contents -------- 1. Introduction 1a. What In The Hell Is A "Personal FAQ?" 1b. Who Is Andy Hawks? 2. Andy Hawks -- The Barbara Walters Interview That Never Was 2a. The Physical 2b. Background / Life Story Summarized 2c. Family And Relatives 2d. Highlights And Lowlights Of Andy's Life 2e. The Emotional 3. Extraneously Useful And Important Information 3a. Is Andy A ______ Person? 3b. Childhood Interests 3c. Molly Dog 3d. Mountain Biking 3e. Other Sports 3f. Andy's Car 3g. Clothes 3h. Food And Beverages 3i. Drugs, Alcohol, And Other Addictions 3j. Body Modifications 3k. Poetry 4. Andy's Dialogues -- Philosophies, Outlook 4a. Politics 4b. Religion 4c. Life, The Universe, And Everything 5. Love, Sex, And Friendship 5a. The Early Years 5b. Orientation And Interests 5c. What Attracts Andy 5b. Niala 5c. "Amy," As Symbol Of Andy's Angst 6. Andy And The Arts 6a. Music 6b. Books 6c. Magazines 6d. Television 6e. Cinema 6f. Art 6g. Poetry 7. Andy And Non-Internet Cyberspace And Computers 7a. The Apple Glory Days 7b. The Colorado Apple Board Scene 7c. The Kracker Box 7d. Hacking, Phreaking, Anarchy, Carding, C0dez, Warez 8. Andy And The Internet 8a. alt.suicide.holiday 8b. alt.cyberpunk 8c. The FutureCulture FAQ 8d. The FutureCulture Community 8e. MindVox 8f. Virtual Communities In General 8g. What Newsgroups Does Andy read? 8h. What E-mail Lists Does Andy Subscribe To? 8i. Andy And IRC And MUDs 8j. The Proliferation Of "The Wired Generation" 8k. Tribe 8l. Getting In Touch With Andy 9. Where Do We Go From Here? 1. Introduction. ================= 1a. What In The Hell Is A Personal FAQ? ---------------------------------------- FAQ, an acronym popular on the Internet, stands for "Frequently Asked Questions". From experience on the Internet, the word "FAQ" has evolved to mean any written source filled with lots of information. One generally finds FAQs for Usenet Newsgroups, E-mail lists, and the like, all generally dealing with one particular subject, such as patchwork quilting, archery, buying a used car, the basics of using e-mail, etc. A Personal FAQ, then, is an informational file of a similar sort, but it pertains to a particular individual rather than a particular subject. Call them P-FAQs, if you like. The idea of a P-FAQ has been tossed around for awhile among people with a substantial interest in how the Internet relates to society-at-large. Andy remembers from personal experience the idea of P-FAQs being tossed around at least a year ago on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) at different times with net.friends Mitch Porter and Meng Weng Wong. However, Erich Schneider, whom Andy would hopefully consider a net.friend, was the first person Andy witnessed who actualized the idea to any noteworthy degree. So, in essence, Erich was the one who actually broke ground in personal FAQs, and those who follow are basically appropriating the idea. Jenea Boshart, a net.friend of Andy's, has called the P-FAQ, "The Internet's version of first impressions." In text-based virtuality, where everyone sits behind a one-sided mirror of subjectivity, this is a very true statement. 1b. Who Is Andy Hawks? ----------------------- Andy Hawks is writing this P-FAQ about himself. It's quite odd, really, to write about one's self in third person as an objective individual who has shared every experience, feeling, and thought as the subject yet remained distanced. It is, quite literally, an exercise in controlled, conscious schizophrenia. It may seem egotistical, or it may seem very Brave New World, THX-1138, Logan's Run-ish, yet Andy believes that there is something to this P-FAQ "thang" -- that it may be a step ahead of its time in a society that heads down an infinite floodlit path of the communicative arts -- "the information society." Some feel that Andy has some "visionary" quality along these lines which has garnered him the respect of "net.guru" or even "net.god" in some pockets of the Internet. In keeping with the electro drum beat of the expansion of society's informational addiction, Andy Hawks brings you himself. Throughout this file the reader will learn what Andy thinks is most important about himself. Obviously one cannot know All About Andy from within a miniscule summarized text file compared to existence in and of itself, but Andy hopes to give you a broad outline and point out what sticks out in his own mind, heart, and soul that relates to himself. Keep in the back of your mind that this is as much an exercise in introspection as it is sharing. 2. Andy Hawks -- The Barbara Walters Interview That Never Was ============================================================== "And if you have 5 seconds to spare, Then I'll tell you the story of my life." -The Smiths 2a. The Physical ----------------- Andy Hawks is 20 years old, he stands about 5'11" in shoes. His full name is Andrew Russell Hawks. Russell is a family name which his grandfather had, also shared by his cousin, Rusty. As a child, Andy's hair was very blonde, his eyes bright ocean blue. Now, however, Andy has straight brown hair, and seeing twenty years of 20th Century civilization has added a certain amount of grey to his eyes. Andy has full lips, fairly nice, straight teeth, and a big nose. Andy wants a nose job. He weighs about 135 pounds, but is in great shape. He has big lungs and large quad and calf muscles -- he has a build commonly found on long-distance athletes that cover rough terrain, such as cross-country runners or mountain-bikers. Andy wears glasses, and currently sports a pair of dark turtle-shelled, round-rimmed Geoffrey Beene's. Andy changes his hair styles quite often -- it was not long ago that he shaved his head, but now he is working on a pony tail / top-knot / q-knot sort of thing. The sides and most of the back of Andy's head is shaved. Andy is Caucasian-American. He also has a cool penis. He is not stand-outishly attractive, and Andy believes his personality is typically more inviting than his looks. But he's not ugly or real dorky, either. He's average, decent. The older he gets, too, the more attractive he becomes. 2b. Background / Life Story Summarized --------------------------------------- Andy was born in Phoenix, Arizona in 111 degree Fahrenheit weather on September 8, 1973 at around 9 am -- exactly 365 days after President Ford pardoned President Nixon. He was born as an early birthday present to his mom, who's birthday is September 9. He was born into an upper-middle class Irish Catholic family that resided in Scottsdale, Arizona, and is an only child. When Andy was born, he had really bad asthma in the hot dry Arizona dessert and almost died, as a baby. He spent much of his first three years of life in and out of hospitals. Because of Andy's asthma and his mom's dissatisfaction with Arizona, Andy and his two parents moved to Spokane, Washington, when Andy was five years old. Andy liked Spokane and almost decided to go to college at Gonzaga University, a Jesuit institution, because of his memories of the area as a five-year old. After one year, the family decided to move to Aurora, Colorado, where there were better job opportunities and a better atmosphere than Spokane. Andy's family found a nice, average house in southeastern Aurora. Andy was too immature to begin kindergarten at five years old, and missed the cutoff date by a week or so, so he started school late. Still, at 6, Andy was emotionally immature and cried just about every morning on his way to school. Andy's teachers figured out fairly quickly that Andy was intelligent, and placed him in the gifted and talented track. By first grade, Andy was reading at a fourth grade level and was doing double-digit multiplication. Andy went to the same school, Mission Viejo Elementary in the Cherry Creek School District in Aurora, Colorado, from kindergarten to the sixth grade. Andy enjoyed being part of a close-knit suburban community, having the stability of the same friendships for much of his youth. Andy's best friend was Shane, who lived across the street. They had a lot of neat experiences growing up together which shaped a large portion of Andy's lighter side. In the fourth grade, Andy's family moved from their initial house into a new area and a bigger house -- the biggest within many miles, at the time. The new house was less than a five minute walk away from the old one. Andy has fond memories of both houses, his childhood friends, school, his family at this time, and the whole Mission Viejo Community. (P.S.: Andy's parents, when they first married, lived in Mission Viejo, California, which is pretty much the same thing as Mission Viejo in Aurora, Colorado). After the sixth grade, however, Andy's family decided to move back to Scottsdale, Arizona. They moved into a big house with an extended-size swimming pool, a regulation beach volleyball court in the back, indoor/outdoor wet bar and other amusing frills. Andy got really into skateboarding at this time, and met back up with his friend Brett. Andy's family and Brett's family were all best friends when Andy's family lived in Scottsdale the first time, and apparently Andy and Brett were best friends from age 0-4, too, but Andy doesn't remember that. He made new friends easily in the seventh grade, which surprised him. He got really into skateboarding enough, and was fortunate enough to live right across the way from Paradise Valley Mall, which was a hotbed for pro and amateur skateboarders (partly due to the "Vans" store nearby). This was about 1985-1986, when Andy was 11-12, so he began to spend more time away from his family. He was always skateboarding with Brett or other friends, or hanging out at the mall. Andy's mom still hated Arizona, however, and that plus other factors led to a divorce in 1986. Midway through the seventh grade, Andy's Mom moved back up to a townhouse in the old neighborhood in Aurora, Colorado. Andy was deeply hurt, he was and will always remain, very close to his mom, and placed much of the blame on himself. The blame is heightened by the fact that Andy's mom reminds him occasionally that in about the fifth grade Andy said to her, "are you and dad going to get a divorce?" which is when she began to realize she was unhappy and wasn't reaching self-fulfillment. Andy and his dad moved into a nice condo in Scottsdale. Andy and his dad never really talked at this time, and just cohabitated. The weather was hot but the hearts were cold, emotionless. Andy's dad was very crushed by the separation, as well, but didn't express any emotion, and Andy learned to be cold and emotionless as well. After the seventh grade, Andy moved back to live up with his mom. Andy's mom has always had a strong male figure support her in her life, and so she naturally turned to her son in a time of need during the divorce. Andy was forced into a masculine caregiver role, which combined with the emotionless persona he picked up from his father and the stress his mother put on him to succeed in school made for a difficult time for Andy. Andy went back to school in the eighth grade at Laredo Middle School with all his childhood friends. The names and faces were all the same, but everyone had changed, and Andy felt shunned because he missed the seventh grade with them. His core group of friends, the "in" group, didn't seem to care about him anymore, and Andy felt more dejection. However, Andy met up with an old good friend, Sam, and they rejuvinated and extended a very close relationship. Andy's father, who was having difficulty after the divorce, moved back up near Andy and his mom at about the time Andy started high school. He went to Smoky Hill High School in Aurora, Colorado. If you have ever seen a movie entitled "Over The Edge" with Matt Dillon about two kids growing up -- one gets shot by a cop and the other deals with the loss of his friend by rebelling, than you have seen a part of Smoky Hill's past and the area where Andy lives. High school became increasingly difficult for Andy. Pressure for grades continued non-stop. One time, Andy brought home a report card with all A's and A+'s and one A- (all in accelerated and advanced classes, of course). He didn't expect his mom to praise him, because she practically expected 4.0's, but he thought it would please her. However, she simply looked at the report card and said "What's this A- here for? Are you going to bring that up to normal by next quarter?" and made no mention of the 4.0. Andy continued to feel isolated from his childhood friends, except for Sam and Jack, Sam's brother. A few friends were killed with drugs and alcohol, a couple others committed suicide, the rest became close-minded arrogant cliques. Andy began to question his sexual identity, his reasons for living, what he could give, his positive qualities, etc. By his senior year, Andy became very depressed. He was literally asleep more hours than he was awake. When he was awake, he did nothing but spend time on the computer or watch tv, or occasionally go to a mall (but only when it would be empty). Growing up, the computer, tv, malls, and music were Andy's babysitters, and were as real as friends as any person in his life. Andy had been seeing a psychologist since his freshman year on-and-off, and the psychologist decided Andy should go into a psychiatric hospital when Andy expressed real desires to cease living. All of the frustration, pain, hurt, lack of love and affection that Andy had experienced throughout his childhood exploded in the psych hospital. Most people have very bad memories of psych hospitals, and the rest of Generation X-aged people regard them as "vacations". For Andy, however, it was one of the best experiences of his life and he misses it a great deal. However, for awhile Andy became increasingly suicidal. He has long since surpassed the point of that feeling of "i can kill myself anytime and not tell anyone". In the psych hospital, he would laugh and joke with friends and staff people and psychologists, yet be thinking about he might commit suicide if he gets out on pass. It wasn't a front, however, he was doing positive work at the hospital, but he just had so much shit built up to deal with, that the emotional maelstrom seemed infinite. Andy was on a variety of antidepressants, and while taking prozac, Andy made a very serious suicide attempt. He should be dead. He was literally within 1-2 minutes of dying, yet his mom came home after she forgot her checkbook and called up to him. When he didn't answer, she went in his room and found him lying unconscious, having overdosed on old antidepressants, aspirin, and valium. It wasn't the first time Andy attempted suicide, and he will never be able to say for certain if it was his last -- when you have reached those depths it is always a possibility. Andy lay in a coma for a week, and the doctors were unsure if he would survive at all. They thought for certain that if he did he would encounter at least some brain damage. But, here he is. After spending a total of six months in the psych hospital and a slow dark walk on the road to death, Andy figured he had nothing left to do but try and live a little more, so he became more of a positive person, trying new things, meeting new people, etc. Because of the time he spent in the psych hospital, Andy did not graduate high school on time. He graduated a semester late, with a 3.85 GPA, 4 different National Honor Societies, and many Scholastic and extracurricular awards. Andy now goes to college at the University of Colorado at Boulder, where he is majoring in Business Administration, specializing in Computer Information Systems. He's 20 years old, and his life is decent. He lives in one of the biggest dorm rooms on campus in a nice dorm that is part of the Kittredge Community up at CU. It's a great living situation, and Andy is doing well in his studies, though he wishes he had a bit more active social life. 2c. Family And Relatives ------------------------- Andy's mom is named Kathy, his Dad is named Ron, and they are both in their fifties. Andy is 10/16 Irish, 3/16 English, 2/16 German, 1/16 Native American. Andy's dad was an only child with a troubled past including alcoholism and abuse. Andy's dad's dad was killed in a car accident, which led Ron to join the Marines. Ron eventually became a sniper involved in intelligence matters for the Marines during the earlier stages of the Vietnam Conflict. Andy's mom, Kathy, has two sisters, Peggy and Betsy, who both are married with two children. Andy's cousins are named Sarah, Rusty (Peggy), and Megan and Bryce (Betsy). Andy's mom is a successful schoolteacher with a master's in counseling at Mission Viejo Elementary. Andy's dad has retired from a life of Data Processing Management, and has since remarried. Andy doesn't particularly care for his stepmom. Both of Andy's grandfathers are dead, while both of his grandmothers are alive. One of Andy's few heroes is his grandfather on his mom's side, Francis O'Brien. A graduate of Notre dame from the Knute Rockne days with a law degree from Case Western and a successful career in Washington D.C., Francis was full of wisdom and Irish Catholic spirit. He wrote a long series of Thoreau-ian letters to Andy as a child, which Andy hopes to pass onto his own children in the future. Francis' funeral remains one of Andy's most prominent memories. Both sides of Andy's family have long lineages. Notable dead relatives include Robert E. Lee's brother, a princess of the Shishone Tribe, a couple of the first Texas Rangers, initial settlers of the Oklahoma territory, people from the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, etc. -- a lot of American folklore personality-type figures. 2d. Highlights And Lowlights Of Andy's Life -------------------------------------------- Andy doesn't feel there are any real low points in his life, and he tries to turn them into positive experiences. Highlights and Lowlights (in no particular order): -Having poetry published nationally in the 3rd and 7th grade. -Sprinting the last 100 feet of a 14000 foot mountain climb with his father in sub-freezing temperatures, as part of the boy scouts. Andy and his dad had to wait about 3-5 minutes before anyone else came into sight, they conquered the mountain. -Winning first place in a basketball tournament in the 8th grade. -first love -first acid experience -awards for swim team races as a kid -first century ride (100 miles in 1 day) on a mountain bike -first sexual experience -parent's divorce -hanging out with Christian Hosoi -first orgasm -being able to cry after not having done so for 5 years, literally -an article in Mondo 2000 magazine -survival 2e. The Emotional ------------------ As you may have guessed, Andy can be a very emotional person. Net.friend Jenea Boshart says he is like a "walking inner-core", which some people find intimidating, some people find enlightening, and many find "weird." A lot of people think Andy is "weird" to some degree. Yet given the nature of the whipcrack-like emotional struggles in his life, the variety of his experiences, and his survivability, Andy thinks of himself as fairly normal. He also has a genius i.q. He has always been fairly introverted. In fact, he only sheds his introversion 100% around one person, aside from himself. Apart from introversion, Andy can represent both poles on many personality characteristics. He can be very emotional and irrational at times, or quite linear and logical at others. He can be quite humorous or all too serious. He might make *you* feel suicidal or he might make you happier than anyone else you know. In other words, he exhibits wider degrees of both positive and "negative" feels, emotions, and characteristics, many times within the context of a few hours' time, yet he does it with a higher degree of stability than most people of similar experience. However, the degree of the spectrum of Andy's emotional side is not shared by too many other people in the world and is generally unwelcome. Andy has always felt like an "alternative" sort of person. Mainstream anything does little than bore him. Andy thinks most people in the world are shallow and one-dimensional, so Andy seeks those who are multi-dimensional, having a wider depth of experience than himself, as much or more feeling and thought. Andy considers himself very much an individualistic person, especially given the fact that his variety of experience allows him to fit into many situations with many different types of people -- he has the ability to wear many different masks, in other words. He is disgusted by those people who claim themselves to be more individualistic than norm society yet still wear many intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and/or literal "uniforms" common in society. Take cyberpunks, for example.... Rarely does Andy find himself in situations which invoke new and different feelings within himself, though he tries his best to place himself in that context. Thus, Andy is increasingly bored, and it takes someone or something special, outside himself, to keep him intrigued for any noteworthy amount of time. Not too many people in the world have been to the literal and emotional heights and depth, Andy thinks, that he has experienced firsthand. He is impressed by those who "go where noone has gone before," no matter what the apparent trajectory or direction. Uniqueness, though innate in human nature, is hard to come by in humans. 3. Extraneously Useful And Important Information ================================================= "Our life is frittered away by detail...Simplify...Simplify..." -Thoreau 3a. Is Andy A ______ Person? ----------------------------- Andy is a "dog" person, he doesn't particularly care for cats. There is just something about dogs...well, they are man's best friend. His favorite colour is deep navy blue. Not just blue, not just any blue, but deep navy blue. His second favorite colours are immaculate white (not just white) and dark forest green. He is a night person and avoids mornings. Andy is left-handed, in everything. Andy wears boxers. Marlboro's over Camels. He thinks he is pretty much balanced on the left-brain/right-brain issue. Wendy's or Mcdonalds over any other fast food restaurant. He hates IBM, is very much an Apple person. Pepsi over Coke. Ding-Dongs over Twinkies. Green apples instead of red. Early Pink Floyd over later. Newsweek, not Time. ABC News over NBC or CBS. Shaq, not Barkley. Stockton, not Hurley. Tapes over CDs. Village Inn over Denny's and Perkins. "Pop" over soda. Small breasts, not big. small butt, not big. hmm..... 3b. Childhood Interests ------------------------ Andy was an avid Lego-builder. Lincoln Logs. Tinker Toys. GI Joe. A huge Star Wars collection to rival anyone's. Atari. Fireworld, Earthworld, all those cartridges. Choose Your Own Adventures. Those AD&D style adventure books (Lone Wolf, et al). Hardy Boys, Judy Blume, Shel Silverstein. Choplifter, Karateka, Sabotage. Michael Jackson. Thundarr the Barbarian, Scooby Doo, Space Ghost. I hanker for a hunka cheese. Grover and Cookie Monster. Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here. Conjunction junction, what's your function. Electric Ave. Vegetable Soup. Fat Albert. CHiPs, Love Boat, Gong Show. Transformers. Zoids. Erector Sets. Those circuit-making things from Radio Shack. Playing chase in the first grade. Girls on monkey bars. Peeing in the pool. Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers. Milton Bradley board games. Nerf. Star Wars sheets. Cabbage Patch Kids. Playmobile. There were cities in the food. 3c. Molly Dog -------------- One of Andy's lifelong friends has been his dog, Molly. Andy's family got Molly in about 1983-1984, from the Dumb Friends League. She is part Sheltee, part Golden Retriever, and very pretty. She has been with Andy through the best and worst moments of his life, and he will undoubtedly be very depressed when she dies, which probably won't be very long, she's getting really old. When Andy was a baby, Andy's family had Nosy, another dog, which they had to give away because she was jealous of Andy. Up in Spokane, they mad Muffy, a puppy, which they had to give away when they moved. After Molly, they got another dog, Sarah, who was mostly Golden Retriever, which they had to give away as well. Andy has also had a lot of fish for pets in his life. When he moves out onto his own, Andy plans to get a golden retriever and a wolf. 3d. Mountain Biking -------------------- Golden retrievers and wolves are great "mountain bike dogs". Andy is really into Mountain biking. He rides a Scott Delano, and is saving up either to get a better Scott bike or Rock Shox for his Delano. This summer, Andy got up to 200 miles per week, but he rarely rides the famed off-road trails of Boulder in winter. When riding, Andy has come across a fair number of pro mountain bikers and roadies, including Davis Phinney and (he thinks) Juli Furtado. Andy's favorite rides from the CU Campus are his "Take A Piss When You Get To The Reservoir Loop" (a 20-25 mile loop which is only about 8 miles of moderately-difficult off-road trails, The Foothills Trail et al, and the rest on busy streets), and the famous "'FUCK!' Walker Ranch Loop" (about the same length, except the degree of difficulty is pretty extreme). Andy rides the same trails as many of the pro mountain bikers do, and thinks he fairs decently against them, especially given the fact that his bike has no suspension...yet. Boulder is the bike capital of the world, and Andy hopes to take advantage of his next 4-5 years up here and maybe due some pro racing by the time he's in his mid-late 20's. Next summer, Andy is planning a "Big Adventure" either to Moab or Durango or Telluride. 3e. Other Sports ----------------- While Andy grew up as somewhat of a classic 'computer dork', he is also pretty good at a fair number of sports, especially those which are individual, not team, and involve as much or more endurance than anything else. Andy excels at swimming, cross-country running, mountain biking. He is also a decent b-ball player, and played basketball from the first through the eighth grade, at forward -- he is better at defense then offense. Andy also played baseball from second-sixth grade, and a couple years of soccer in there too. Andy has seen the development of a new sport which is a biathalon made up of mountain biking and mountain running, which is something he feels he would kick ass at. He is also an avid watcher of sports, especially pro, college, and high school basketball. His favorite team is the Denver Nuggets. His favorite players are John Stockton (who went to Gonzaga) and Bobby Hurley. Andy has not missed watching or attending a Denver Bronco game since 1987, and has been a Broncos fan all his life. His favorite football player is, of course, John Elway. As far as college football is concerned, he only likes the Colorado Buffaloes and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. He is one of those guys who will constantly flip between all the games on television, and likes to watch most other sports, except baseball (aside from the Colorado Rockies). 3g. Clothes ------------ Andy dresses well. He has a good sense of style and fashion, is very color-coordinated, and follows or starts trends. He shops at The Gap, the J. Crew outlet store nearby, and Eddie Bauer. An overwhelming percentage of his clothes are blue, and basic. Each day Andy wears the same 5 necklaces which all have some deep meaning: a small Yin-Yang collar, a replica of Jim Morrisson's famous necklace which Andy made himself in the psych hospital, a replica of an Aztec necklace Andy's stepmom gave him from a trip of hers, a gold cross from the Museum of Modern Art which is a replica of St. Peter's, and the "little man" necklace given to him by a net.friend. 3f. Andy's Car --------------- Andy drives a 1984 beige Pontiac Sunbird piece of shit. But it's better than his first car, which was a classic Crip-gangster-blue '77 Oldsmobile Omega. Andy thinks driving generally makes you stupid, but, despite that, wants a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Andy drives fast, but drives well, and has only gotten 1 speeding ticket in his life, for going 43 in a 25 mph zone. He hAS never been involved in any accidents. 3h. Food And Beverages ----------------------- Food: Kraft Macaronni and Cheese. Mom's chocolate chip cookies. Grandma O'Brien's Spritz cookies. Ding-dongs. Quarter-pounder- with-cheese's and extra salty, greasy fries. The lettuce, ham, havarti cheese, onion, and mustard on a hot dog bun sandwiches I make. chocolate Powerbars. Salted peanut shells. Shroom and pepperoni Pizza Time pizza. Mike's unrippled potato chips. Chicken and beef flavored ramen. Spicy frozen bean burritoes. Frosted Flakes. Grape Nuts. Special K. Instant Oatmeal. Frozen breakfast burritoes. Frosted pop tarts, cold. Josh and John's Ice Cream, and Ben and Jerry'z (which isn't as good as J&J's, btw). Drink: Mt. Dew, Pepsi. Chocolate milk. 3i. Drugs, Alcohol, And Other Addictions ----------------------------------------- Andy occasionally does acid. The number of times he has done it is more than a few handfuls, but less than 40. Acid literally helped get him through his depression, along with self-confidence provided by a particular girl, and the help and support of his cool psychologist and family. His first trip was one of the key moments in his life. He threw up on that trip, but it wasn't because of the acid or anything, it was more of a psychosomatic purge of all the negativity he had harbored in his heart and mind (which actually did cause real severe stomach pain) for the first 18 years of his life. Andy has many residual effects from his use of lsd: permanent trails all the time, those weird thingies in your eye, the ability to induce visual and auditory hallucinations and/or distortions at any time, and a permanent shift in thought processes and creativity. Andy doesn't particular care for pot, either being around it or smoking it, only in rare moods does he have the urge. He has never experimented with other hallucinogens, and the only other hallucinogenic or hard narcotic drugs he would have the desire to do are shrooms and peyote. Andy drinks occasionally, if it's around in social situations, yet confines his drinking to a minimum as, one time, it had potential to severely alter the course of his life and relationship with someone he cares about deeply. Also, alcoholism runs in Andy's family on both sides. His grandmother, who is losing it, drinks way too much. Andy smokes Marlboro's. He smoked for about a year, quit for a long time, and just recently started smoking regularly again. He smokes 3/4-pack a day on average. Andy should stop smoking, because he is proud of his huge lungs, and is undoubtedly affecting his ability to perform in physical activities mentioned throughout this P-FAQ. However, Andy likes smoking and doesn't give a rat's ass about cancer, since that's how he watched his grandfather die. Both of Andy's parents smoked at one time or another, and Andy's mom smoked a bit while she was pregnant. Andy can't blow smoke rings, but he can do this great impression of the geyser at Yellowstone with a drag and a bit of water. He also does a great impression of Dan Reeves, ex-Denver Broncos head coach, but that doesn't really have anything to do with anything. Caffeine. Andy prefers Pepsi and Mt. Dew over coffee, and caffeine normally does not affect him any more to any noteworthy noticeable degree. Andy has been known to drink a case of Mt. Dew, 24 cans, in 2 days. He also doesn't like Jolt, so there. 3j. Body Modifications ----------------------- Andy pierced his scrotum awhile back. People think this is weird, or cringe at the thought, but Andy liked it. It didn't hurt as much as most people think it would. Sometimes Andy will tell the story of how he stood there, naked, with his cool penis hanging, in front of a closet mirror door while the 6" sewing needle was stuck through his scrotum while listening to tribal music. One question people frequently ask andy is: "where did you pierce it?" If you are looking straight at Andy's scrotum from the front =), here is where it is pierced: :::::::: <--detachable penis goes there. ,,,,, ,,, ,,, ,, feet this way. | ,, ,,, \|/ ,, O ,, ,,,,,,, ,,, ,,,,, Where "O" represents the front of the stud Andy usually keeps in it. The back is on the other side. (it is important to keep in mind that this drawing is not necessarily to scale, Andy can't do ascii-art. =) Andy also has his left ear pierced once. He would like to get a couple more ear piercings, maybe an eyebrow or nose pierce, and maybe a pierce on the skin between two fingers on his left hand. Andy also has a faint but large razor scar across his entire right forearm that reads "aargh." He has considered tattoos, but, maybe later....A clover, the Fighting Irish Lepracauhn, a cross, something simple. As soon as he can put all his hair back into a pony tail, which shouldn't be long, Andy plans to dye his hair black. He realizes that a black dyed top-knot is about a year out of style, but, that's cool. That's Andy. 3k. Poetry ----------- Andy has been writing poetry since the second grade. In the third grade, he won a Mother's Day Poetry Contest from the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Cherry Creek, Colorado. The Tattered Cover is one of the largest, independent bookstores in the U.S., and is very popular. In the 7th grade, Andy won a similar contest about the Anniversary of Arizona's statehood. Pink Floyd sings, "Got a little black book with my poems in." Well, Andy has many such books and binders, and many are overflowing. He has written over 750 poems in his lifetime to date. Some are carefully crafted sonnets with correct rhyme and meter, while some are merely stream of altered-consciousness ramblings, and the whole lot inbetween, including the most everyday observation and deep political thought. Andy hopes that after he's dead for about 50 years, people will discover something in at least a few of his poems. He hopes he's dead first, though, because he doesn't want to have to deal with naysayers and critics of his soul. Andy usually doesn't edit the majority of his poems, as he feels it betrays the essence of art, expression, creativity, and the soul. 4. Andy's Dialogues -- Philosophies, Outlook ============================================= "The Unexamined Life is not worth living." -Socrates 4a. Politics ------------- If forced to, Andy might label his political and economic views "rational liberalism". He is a registered Democrat, but is certainly not a democrat in the sense of pure democracy. Andy believes our system of a democratic republic works well for this country and prefers it, for America as a whole, over any idealistic wishy-washy system of socialism, communism, pure democracy, etc. He believes in all of the normal principles that make up the "American Way Of Life." Similarly, Andy is not a pure capitalist, and, although he plans to make the corporate world the basis for his lifework, he supports more governmental regulation in the corporate sector and more support for research and innovation, creativity and autonomy. He also believes more governmental control is needed over the prevailing ethics of business in the business and governmental realms. Andy hopes that, in the decade to come, the U.S. government will not find itself in the same situation as at the turn of the last century, with Big Business prevailing to the point of societal corruption. Last time the players were the oil and transportational companies, and Andy believes that at the end of this century, we find ourselves in a similar situation with the communications technology industry. Aside from that, there are few political issues Andy feels passionate about, although he takes a sincere interest in politics, particularly the domestic side of things. 4b. Religion ------------- Andy was baptized and raised as a Roman Catholic. He comes from a long line, on his mother's side, of strong Irish Catholic faith. Andy generally supports the church, the vatican, and its leaders. Andy generally believes that many people, being innately selfish, can not accurately take into context the history, present status, and future of Christianity and Catholocism in the entire world when taking into account issues such as abortion, capital punishment, etc. Growing up, Andy considered becoming a priest. Andy rarely goes to church any more, as he finds a considerable amount of all organized religion futile. He believes in God, but not in any shape or form remotely like anything known to Humans. Nor does he believe that Jesus was uniquely the Son of God. Andy believes that everyone is a Jesus, in a sense. Andy believes in the Trinity in an abstract sense. The very fact that time and space and matter exist, and are connected ultimately by the same energy or substance is a sort of Trinity. Andy does not find a contradiction between Religion and Science, but just another of existence's many necessary balances, all balanced on the same Point -- just like Man and Nature, Protons and Electrons, etc. And, of course, even the most intelligent and visionary scientist will not dissuade faith in god in the name of science, but rather point out that, Ultimately, "there's something." For further reference, please listen to They Might Be Giants classic song Particle Man, and think about the symbolism. 4c. Life, The Universe, And Everything --------------------------------------- Andy is not a past-oriented person, and he tries to control his future-minded orientation and keep it at a minimum to live in the Here and Now. Only then, Andy believes, can the greatest scope of the immense context of Life, The Universe, And Everything be realized. It is often said that people use only 10% of their brains. Andy believes that concept applies to Ultimate Knowledge, except rather than 10% it's .01%. That notion, taken into context with one of Andy's favorite philosophies -- Everything Is -- [to add or subtract anything from that phrase, he believes, demonstrates an inability to Understand it] helped contribute to an existential depression in Andy. However, Andy has since reaffirmed his belief in an "Objective Something", that "Limits Exist", and the humans Andy admires and looks up to the most are the ones who have a firm grasp on the concepts of the Objective Something, their Limits, their Own Subjective Uniqueness, and a firm handle on their Current Situation and who push the limits of that knowledge. Lack of a firm handle on any one of these four areas can create an imbalance in one's ability to navigate through life, Andy believes. Thus, Andy tends to admire intelligent thinking, feeling people who exist on the edges, whether in the arts, politics, religion, business, or the girl in shades sipping the espresso up the street. 5. Love, Sex, And Friendship ============================= "Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me." -The Smiths 5a. The Early Years -------------------- Andy's earliest "sexual" experience he remembers was when his best friend, Shane, and he played "strip tag" with this girl from their class up the street. An "I'll show you mine, you show me yours type thing" with some amount of a touchy-feely element. This was at about age 5-6. In the first grade, they played a lot of "chase" that occasionally involved "kissing". In the second grade, this girl, who has since matured to become very very beautiful, liked Andy, but he was more interested in hitting baseballs. He had a certain attraction throughout his latency period for this girl in his classes who was just as intelligent as Andy was, and they challenged each other and fed off this "smarty-pants conflict". Andy liked her. He had minor crushes develop, which continued until later in high school, pretty much. At around the age of 10-11, Andy discovered masturbation, which has become an art form to him at varying times in his life. Although he has never been as obsessed with masturbation as "Dick, who was obsessed with his dick" from the King Missile song Dick, Andy still ocassionally wanks it. =) Or better yet, has someone do it for him, but those times are few and fairly far between. His first real "date" was a group date in the seventh grade. They went to a movie. Later on in the year, around the time Andy's mom moved out, Andy had his first interaction with alcohol and possibly his first sexual experience. Since Andy doesn't really remember it, only from his friends, he doesn't consider it a real experience. Andy lost his virginity when he was 18. 5b. Orientation And Interests ------------------------------ For a long time, even after discovering masturbation, Andy considered himself a fairly androgenous asexual being. Growing up, then, he had many problems with seeing himself as a sexual being with a normal sexual identity. On that scale that many people use to differentiate sexual orientations where 0 is completely het, 3 is fairly equally bisexual, and 6 very homosexual, Andy ranks right about a 1. Andy is fairly equally attracted to males and females and could site many times when he has gotten erections from seeing males. Yet, Andy only considers sexual and romantic relationships with women. The actual act of male homosexual love does not excite him, although Andy believes he could probably give/receive oral sex with another male, but he is in no hurry to try it out, since he is very satisfied, currently, with his heterosexual sex life. Sexually, Andy has no weird or noteworthy fetishes, interests or desires. In fact, he has few sexual desires that he would wish to actualize, compared to the majority of people he knows. Andy likes sexual exploration and trying new and different things, yet he generally doesn't like anything that has to do with devices or sexual aids. He isn't into leather (except for maybe a leather dog collar type thing, those are cool =), whips and chains, vibrators, nipple clamps, oils, vibrating beds, anything he like. Andy likes sex to be fairly natural, and believes that with the right person in different positions and situations, sexual aids aren't necessary at all. The only exception might be that Andy likes mild mild mild domination and submission and some bondage (a la Basic Instinct without the ice pick). He likes giving and receiving oral sex a lot. 5c. What Attracts Andy ----------------------- The males that Andy is attracted to are a sort of stereotypical fashion-model / statue persona, but with a overpowering amount of emotional depth. Tall, thin, dark hair, blue eyes, strong cheek bones, a nice smile, and a strong sense of style and fashion. In women, Andy typically looks for an "alternative" style (without the tired rebellious uniform, yawn yawn), petite, shoulder length dark hair (brown, dyed-red-brown, or black), deep dark eyes, a fairly sculpted face, small breasts, thin legs, a small butt, the same overpowering emotional depth, a strong base of cultural knowledge (he loves anyone who can subreference or be obscurist more than himself), a multidimensional person who is just as much "walking inner-core" as andy is. Yet they should also be stable, mature, matching the "Life, The Universe, and Everything" qualities mentioned above. Of course, personality is more important to andy than looks, and he will hang out with anyone who isn't repulsive to stare at. That's what he looks for, too -- someone to hang out with, not someone to "go out" with, not someone to have a relationship (short-term or long-term) with, just someone who will love to hang out at a Village Inn with him until two in the morning engaging in conversation that varies inevitably between the inane, the benine, the obscure, the intelligent, philosophical, political, and humorous. Some pop culture examples of women Andy is attracted to include Winona Ryder, commediene Janine Garrafalo (sp), the girl from the movie Scandal, Natalie Merchant, Jane Pratt (if she had a brain), etc. 5b. Niala ---------- If Andy's heart or soul were engraved with a name, it would read "Niala." Niala is a girl he met in the psych hospital who has been with him, literally, through the best and worst times of his life; when Andy has been most alive, and closest to death. She is a beautiful person and he will probably always love her to some degree. Andy loves her more than anything on this planet at times. However, their relationship has been far from perfect. She has hurt him more than anyone else on this planet, and Andy has hurt her a shitload more than he should. Some bond exists within them through the darkest moments and the brightest lights, and they manage to stay together even when they try to break apart. At times the relationship has been highly neurotic, but it is the most satisfying and fulfilling continual aspect of Andy's life. They have been friends, lovers, enemies, and soulmates. When she cries, her tears build in his heart like rose petals, and when she smiles, her soul spreads sunlight into every ounce of Andy'z body. Again, the relationship isn't perfect, and there are aspects of her personality and her life in general which can piss him off quite easily, especially after the roller-coaster turmoil they've been through. But Andy has yet to find anyone on this planet he would rather *be* with. 5c. "Amy," As Symbol Of Andy's Angst ------------------------------------- Probably the only other girl worth mentioning from Andy's past is someone named Amy. Every guy who has ever been unsure of himself around a particular girl he admired from afar has longed for the time when something would actually *develop* with her. However, introverted guys like Andy are generally too shy and stupid and self-conscious to do anything about these crushes. The biggest crush Andy ever had on anyone was on this girl, Amy. He sat next to her in two classes in his senior year of high school. They saw each other occasionally around town, etc., but Andy was too dumb to do anything about it. At one point, Amy surprised him with "You'd go out with me, wouldn't you Andy," and yet again Andy was befuddled. He has written a fair number of poems about her, as he does every girl that he loves or even admires in some respect, and she remains symbolic of everything in Andy's life that slipped away from him. Andy has lost touch with Amy, but apparently she might be going to college in New Mexico. If anyone runs across a short thin girl with average length red-brown hair, named Amy Clarke, who went to Smoky Hill High School in Colorado, let Andy know. 6. Andy And The Arts ===================== "Let's make the myths." -Jim Morrisson 6a. Music ---------- Music is very important to Andy, probably much more relevant to his life than most people, although everyone occasionally comes across some song that they *know* was made for them. Andy has had over 400 tapes and CDs in his life, but every season he picks through and sells what is less important to him, thus developing a smaller strong collection of music that stands the test of time. Right now, Andy is down to about 200 tapes and 10 CDs. Some songs are just too powerful and representative of Andy's own life for him to listen to. Andy can no longer really listen to, or watch, Pink Floyd's The Wall without being in the company of someone else who cares about him. The same goes, at times, for The Smiths' Louder Than Bombs. Andy also has a mix tape of his most favorite, depressing songs, which is sure to bring anybody down for at least a day. Andy can, and does, listen to anything. His musical tastes have been alternative since about the age of 9, and before that he listened to little besides new wave. Now, Andy generally listens to some classic rock, some modern alternative, ambient, "weirdness ambient" (where ambient is influenced by Eno, weirdness ambient is influenced by Zappa, the Orb, and Negativland), trance, tribal, hardcore techno, and what one person defined as "cracker music": They Might Be Giants, King Missile, Ween, Dead Milkmen, Barenaked Ladies, Young Fresh Fellows, Camper Van Beethoven, Cracker, et al. He also likes more avant-garde and spoken word stuff like William S. Burroughs and Laurie Anderson. Here are Andy's perennial favorite groups, in no particular order: The Pet Shop Boys, The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, The Doors, Velvet Underground, Pink Floyd, King Missile, Steely Dan, The Orb, 808 State, Gregorian Chants. Here are some of Andy's Favorite songs in no particular order: Asleep, The Smiths Back to the Old House, The Smiths Being Boring, The Pet Shop Boys Blue Monday, New Order Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd The End, The Doors Femme Fatalle, Velvet Underground Getting Away With It, Electronic Half a Person, The Smiths Heroin, Velvet Underground Hey You, Pink Floyd Is There ANybody Out There?, Pink Floyd Jesus Was Way Cool, King Missile Julia Dream, Pink Floyd Lips Like Sugar, Echo & The Bunneymen Lovecats, The Cure Love Will Tear Us Apart, Joy Division Minimum Wage, They Might Be Giants My October Symphony, The Pet Shop Boys Old Friends, Simon & Garfunkel Particle Man, They Might Be Giants Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want, The Smiths Qmart, 808 State with Bjork Riders On The Storm, The Doors Saturday, King Missile The Sounds of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel Us and Them, Pink Floyd Welcome to the Machine, Pink Floyd West End Girls, The Pet Shop Boys Wintertime, Steve Miller Wild Mountain Honey, Steve Miller 6b. Books ---------- Andy doesn't really read much. It's too long, boring, and unsatisfying. If forced to pick a favorite current author, Andy would pick William Gibson solely on the basis of his vision. Andy also enjoys anthologies, and a couple of his more recent favorites are Storming the Reality Studio and Avant-Pop: Fiction for a Daydream Nation, both edited by Larry McAffery. Andy's favorite author of all-time is Dr. Seuss. He thinks "Oh, The Places You'll Go" is a must-have for anyone who pushes boundaries and limits. 6c. Magazines -------------- Andy doesn't subscribe to any magazines anymore. His favorites, though, are Esquire, Details, and Spin. He also regularly reads Mountain Bike Action. He occasionally picks up a copy of Mondo 2000 or Wired, but not as much as he used to. Andy is fairly sick of zines by this point. 6d. Television --------------- Andy watches a lot of TV. Growing up, TV was pretty much a babysitter for Andy, and he has felt as close to some television shows as some friends. Andy was present for the beginning of Mtv, and saw that first Buggles video. Mtv has since remained dominant in Andy's TV habits. Some of Andy's favorite television shows over the years have included Family Ties, The Gong Show, CHiPs, Twin Peaks, The Real World, Buzz, Cheers, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, Dr. Who, Saturday Night Live, David Letterman, MST3k, Guiding Light, General Hospital, The Love Boat, Max Headroom. Now, Andy barely watches much TV. His favorite current show is Frazier, and he always watches basketball and football games. Sometimes he watches Seinfeld. 6e. Cinema ----------- Growing up, Andy was a big fan of movies. In high school he took a film class in which films were analyzed on the basis of themes, symbolism, use of sound/lighting/camera, etc., and directors picked apart in the auteur theory. Thus, Andy only watches intelligent film loaded with symbolism, broad themes, made by directors he likes. Rarely will Andy watch a pointless film like Wayne's World (which he has not seen). Andy believes that the Star Wars trilogy of films is a modern epic that could feasibly rival Homer's work -- Andy has seen Star Wars literally over 1000 times. He believes the best single scene ever filmed is the one in Psycho where Norman visits Janet Leigh's character in her room at the hotel. Some of Andy's favorite directors are George Lucas, the Cohen Brothers (Miller's Crossing, Barton Fink, et al), Kenneth Brannaugh, Hitchcock, and Ridley Scott. His favorite actor is Harrison Ford and he doesn't particularly care for any actress. Andy's favorite movies, aside from the Star Wars Trilogy, include: Blade Runner, 2001, Less Than Zero, Miller's Crossing, Psycho, Henry V, Chariots of Fire, Dune, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Annie Hall, A Clockwork Orange, Simon!, Dead Poet's Society, Lawrence of Arabia, The Wall, Fantasia, Alice in Wonderland, The Godfather Trilogy, All the President's Men, Ordinary People, Little Man Tate, Parenthood, The Exorcist, Monty Python's Holy Grail, St. Elmo's FIre, WarGames, Basic Instinct, Slacker. Another of Andy's favorite films is "Frydaze" a 10 minute high school film project written and directed by Andy, co-directed by Jason Powers, starring Jason and Amy (symbol of Angst), and some other people. The film is a Generation-X account of the emotional and intellectual deprivation of white suburban youth. The protagonist uses lsd, and it is up to the viewer to decide whether the use is escapist or an attempt to overcome suburban deprivation. Frydaze is quite postmodern -- it appropriates the famous "Smurfs" scene from Slacker, and literally samples directly from Holy Grail and 2001. 6f. Art -------- Andy's favorite painters tend to be dadaist, surrealist, modern, and postmodern artists. Though Salvador Dali is by far Andy's favorite artist, he is the only real artist represented in Andy's collection of prints on his walls. Andy's favorite paintings by Dali are The Persistence of Memory, Metamorphosis of Narcissus, the Vision of Aphrodite one, and the one with Swans and Elephants. Other favorite artists of Andy's include Andy Warhol, Keith Haring, Jenny Holzer, and the "art" of Mark Kostabi. 6g. Poetry ----------- Andy's favorite poets include Jim Morrisson, e.e. cummings, Carl Sandburg, Walt Whitman, Dr. Seuss, and Shel Silverstein. He likes a lot of beatnik era poetry, but does not favor any particular poet of that genre. Andy also considers William Burroughs' voice to be poetry, as well as the art of Laurie Anderson. Of course, Andy is one of his own favorite poets as well. 7. Andy And Non-Internet Cyberspace And Computers ================================================== "I program my home computer...." -Kraftwerk 7a. The Apple Glory Days ------------------------- Like television, computers have been one of Andy's babysitters growing up. His family first got an Apple //e when he was 8 years old, but Andy has been adept at using computers since the age of 6. Andy has fond memories of typing in programs from magazines like Nibble, Compute, K-Power, Family Computing, et al. Andy has long been a die-hard Apple user, and only in the past two years has he been using Macs. Andy will not touch an IBM unless forced to, seriously. Currently, Andy wants to save up to get one of those Mac TV computers that come cable ready, etc., or maybe just a regular old Centris 650 or something. Andy's Macintosh LC II is at his mom's house, and Andy uses his Apple //gs to connect to the Internet in his dorm room. Andy's friend Mark, who lives in Texas, still uses Andy's old Apple //e to connect to the net. Andy has a Hayes 14.4k modem. 7b. The Colorado Apple Board Scene ----------------------------------- Andy got his first modem when he was 11. It was a 1200 baud Novation Smart-Cat Plus. Since then, Andy has made cyberspace a big part of his life. He called a few local BBSes, and met up with his friend Mark (the one with the //e) who introduced him, for the most part, to the underground Apple board scene in Colorado. Andy has great memories of calling AE's and those first GBBS systems. Soon, Andy settled into a few BBSes that a common group of people called. Boards like The Bone Cellar, Genesis Project, The Lab, The Funny Farm, and The Coven were the core group in the 303 area for a long time. 7c. The Kracker Box -------------------- Eventually, Andy and Mark decided it would be great to set up their own BBS. The Kracker Box BBS, as it was called, was an underground Apple BBS in 303 running on MBBS -- MBBS stands for Mark's BBS, as Mark heavily modded a commercial software package of a similar name. Mark and Andy put a lot of time, effort, and money into TKB (The Kracker Box). It started out running off of a 64k Apple //e with 2 5 1/4" drives. Over the years, Mark made a lot of programming mods that were at the edge, definitely among the best in the nation. The Kracker Box was one of the first to use highlight-bar and arrow-key menus, one of the first to have truly anonymous posting, and great use of ProTERM Emulation. Many of those who remember The Kracker Box think it was one of the best Apple BBSes in the area. TKB eventually attracted people from as far away as Germany. 7d. Hacking, Phreaking, Anarchy, Carding, C0dez, Warez ------------------------------------------------------- Being an underground BBS, The Kracker Box was involved with these things to some degree. Andy himself has been involved with all of these to some extent successfully. The glory days of code-hacking before it was lame, 0266's and 0488's, Telenet, CC #s, boxes and boxes and boxes of warez. Andy has well over 5000 old disks for // stuff back at home. The national underground Apple scene in the mid to later 80's is where much of any bad reputation around cyberspace stems from, and Andy was a part of it. He kept up with all the news from the cracking (warez), hacking, and phreaking groups around the country -- the arrests, the squabbles, the personalities. It was great phun. 8. Andy And The Internet ========================= "The color of the sky was like television tuned to a dead channel." -William Gibson 8a. alt.suicide.holiday ------------------------ Andy has only been on the Internet for under three years, though he has known about it for a long time. His first real account was on Nyx, The Spirit of the Night, a great great free pubnix system run by Andrew Burt out of a couple computers at the University of Denver. Andy first spent (wasted?) a lot of time on Usenet, and his first hangout was alt.suicide.holiday, since he was very depressed when he first found the net. a.s.h. has/had a nice community, a bit darker and more real than the majority of Usenet, which is what attracted Andy. There were only a couple people who were regulars on a.s.h. that Andy didn't really like. Many people approach the net with a noticeable distance and the undercurrent that it's all somewhat "fake", but Andy never has and thinks it is due to a.s.h. Seeing "I'm going to kill myself" from people who post to a.s.h. and never seeing them again on the net makes it all very real. a.s.h. will always be special to Andy in some sense since it was his first "home" on the net. 8b. alt.cyberpunk ------------------ After a.s.h., alt.cp was Andy's second home on the net. He became somewhat of a regular there posting on a variety of topics just as the concept of "cyberpunk" began to shift from solely a literary concept to a realistic subculture. alt.cp is filled with a lot of dumbshits. And those who aren't dumbshits, Andy believes, generally tend not to see the non-literary side of cyberpunk, which is fairly ignorant. So, in other words, alt.cp is generally filled with a lot of ignorant dumbshits. Frustration caused by the ignorant dumbshits led Andy to create the initial FAQ for alt.cp. However, the ignorant dumbshits got to Andy to the point where he didn't wish to do the FAQ any longer, and handed it over to Tim Oerting who did a great job with it for a long time, and made it into a very informative document. Tim Oerting has since left, and now Erich Schneider, who did the first P-FAQ Andy has seen, does the alt.cp FAQ. Erich knows too much about seemingly everything, so it's good that he's doing it, and not an ignorant dumbshit. 8c. The FutureCulture FAQ -------------------------- Much of the initial alt.cp FAQ was based around Andy's FutureCulture FAQ, which was a file Andy created (for himself, initially) that contained a list of on-line and off-line "cyberpunk" related materials and resources. As Andy's interests grew and expanded with the extension of cyberpunk culture, so did the FutureCulture FAQ. The FC FAQ was heralded by a wide variety of netters as a good resource, and probably contributed to (at least among netters) some popularity with all of the cyberculture, cyberpunk, new edge type stuff. The FC FAQ has received some minor attention from the mass media. The FC FAQ is still available, in different versions, at some places on the net. Andy doesn't care too much about the FC FAQ anymore, not as much as he used to, so he doesn't know where it is on the net, so don't ask him. He suggests you use archie or veronica to find it via ftp or gopher. Andy has also seen it off of the net, on many BBSes. 8d. The FutureCulture Community -------------------------------- The FC FAQ became so popular that many of it's fans wanted a place on the net to talk about the FAQ itself and the information contained therein, and to send updates of FC FAQ revisions. Andy created the FutureCulture E-List for this purpose. As the community grew, it became sort of an alternative to alt.cyberpunk -- alt.cp without the attitude. The focus of the list shifted too, with the rise in popularity of magazines like Mondo 2000 and a growing acceptance of cyberpunk as legitimate in the mass media. Andy quit running FutureCulture, however, because he grew real stressed out and a lot of personal shit that he was having a hard time dealing with was going on in his life. It was also due, in part, to a growing dissatisfaction with a lack of vision in the community itself. Popularity, it turns out, breeds followers, and followers lack the vision Andy likes to associate myself with. There are some notable exceptions, but, all in all..... You may notice that this is a prominent thread in Andy's life, something present not only on the net, but in clothes, music, relationships, and his whole culture of one in general -- as soon as those who follow his idea become complacent with it, he leaves. If it becomes too comfortable, if it lacks consistent change and development, if it lacks edge, if it doesn't push limits or boundaries, it's crap....it's time to move on and push forward. Anyway, the FutureCulture community still exists, and it's still, imho, one of the better communities one might find on the net. Here is some information on it: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ |______________ / | | / | | u t u r e <___________ u l t u r e | _______________________________________________________________________| FutureCulture is now a listserv. Requests must be emailed to: listserv@uafsysb.uark.edu To subscribe, the message body should start with: subscribe futurec Your Name Here You can then add options, such as the following: set futurec repro -to receive a copy of mail you post to the list set futurec ack -to just receive acknowledgment that it worked set futurec digest -to receive a single splurge every 24 hours get futurec fcfaq -to extract the FC FAQ info refcard -for extended help list administrator: Alias Datura adatura@uafhp.uark.edu FOR THE FAQ, EMAIL THESISNET-REQUEST@SEAS.UPENN.EDU WITH THE SUBJECT 'FCFAQ'. _______________________________________________________________________________ FutureCulture is on on-line mailing list set up to discuss all the relevant aspects of "technoculture" or "new edge" or "cyberculture" or whatever else you want to call it. These include, but are certainly not limited to: computer underground cyberpunk (literary and cultural movements) cyberspace nootropics or other drugs raves virtual reality music, movies, books, magazines that fit into the mold Discussion on the list often ranges from the mundane "gee-whiz", to deep philosophical and scientific commentary. For example, at one time the members of the list were simultaneously discussing Bell's Theorem and "who we would cast in Neuromancer if it becomes a movie". Other recent topics of conversation have included: the MindVox system, industrial music, analysis of Ridley Scott's Bladerunner, practical and entertaining possibilities of vr, ethical and moral aspects of hacking (in the presently illegal sense of the word), raves, Mondo 2000 and other related magazines, cyberpunk genre literary fiction (reader-contributed), basic informational structures, tripping on the net, etc. Subscriptions are available in either real-time or digest modes. Real-time mode is nothing more than a mail reflector, meaning that as soon as someone sends a message to the list, you will automatically receive that message in your mailbox. Traffic usually averages somewhere between 0 and 20 posts a day. Digest mode means that you will receive one message a day in a magazine-type format, which contains all the posts of the day. This is useful for people who have more of a passing, secondary interest in the list, or who do not have the capabilities of receiving more than a few messages per day, or who like to peruse a list all at once, rather than keeping up with the topics in real-time mode. It is most useful for people who do not plan on contributing much to the list. For subscription information, see the beginning of this file. Subscribe today! _____________________________________________________________________________ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8e. MindVox ------------ Another place on the net Andy really likes is called MindVox. MindVox is more or less the part of the virtual world where people with past computer histories like Andy hang out. It is a BBS conencted to the Internet just like the WELL, 'cept better. Andy encourages people to read Patrick Kroupa's great e-essay: Voices In My Head, Mindvox: The Overture. Andy liked MindVox so much that he wrote an article about it which appeared in Mondo 2000, which was way cool. The MindVox community also shares a nonsensical sensibility and sometimes weirdness that Andy can relate to as well. Voxheads are cool. 8f. Virtual Communities In General ----------------------------------- Maybe it is due in part to a lack of a satisfying social life in real life (irl), maybe due to andy's continued perception that he is somewhat unique and different and never quite fits in with the masses, maybe due to the fact that the computer has been his babysitter, maybe he's only escaping, but Andy thinks virtual communities are, and will continue to be, very important in modern society. Especially when society has realtime audio/video interpersonal interaction -- "The Jetsonian Age", after The Jetsons and their "TV" sets. Andy's past history with cyberspace has been an important part of his life. The people are very real even if they are only words. The communities and interaction is very real, even if it is mediated and generally more impersonal. Many people are like Andy in that sense, and he encourages everyone to approach the net on that level -- that it is just as real as anything else. In other words, "feel the wires" as Andy has been known to say. 8g. What Newsgroups Does Andy read? ------------------------------------ Andy rarely gives any consideration to Usenet, and most of his posting in the past year has been fairly random or automated by crontabs. At any rate, when Andy does read Usenet, here's what he reads: news.announce.important cu.general cu.ralphie cu.ralphie.d boulder.general co.general soc.college alt.folklore.college alt.college.food alt.society.generation-x alt.tv.talkshows.late alt.fan.letterman alt.tv.snl alt.fan.monty-python alt.psychoactives rec.music.info alt.rave rec.music.industrial rec.music.newage alt.music.alternative alt.music.progressive alt.exotic-music alt.music.world alt.music.ska rec.music.reggae alt.music.tmbg rec.music.dementia alt.mcdonalds alt.food.mcdonalds alt.food.dennys alt.food.sugar-cereals alt.humor.best-of-usenet alt.stupidity alt.illuminati talk.bizarre alt.surrealism Please don't ask Andy why he reads those groups, he doesn't know. 8h. What E-mail Lists Does Andy Subscribe To? ---------------------------------------------- He doesn't know anymore. At one point, Andy was subscribed to enough e-mail lists to generate over 1000 pieces of mail on average per day. Now, Andy receives shitloads of random crap from all over net.hell and creation, and a lot gets deleted or filtered. Andy still gets a lot of random personal stuff from people he doesn't know or doesn't really care about, either. The only e-list Andy pays real attention to anymore is tribe. (see below). In the past however, FutureCulture (see below) and Leri have been noteworthy lists. 8i. Andy And IRC And MUDs -------------------------- Andy likes IRC a lot, and thinks of it as something like an addiction. IRC = Internet Relay Chat if one doesn't already know -- check it out, and check your life at the door. Andy hangs out on #leri, #mindvox, and #tribe. Most of Andy's relationships with his net.friends have been made and solidified over IRC. Andy has a very complex IRC setup, and no longer types slash commands -- he uses the numeric keypad to scroll through commands and names of people he's messaging, and channels, and servers. And no, he won't send you these files, it's not hard to write your own shit. Most of Andy's memorable moments that relate to the net have been spent over IRC, and Andy prefers it, generally, over e-mail, Usenet, and MUDs. Andy has MUDded in the past, but doesn't really anymore. His favorite MUD was an LP, NyxMUD, run from Nyx. Upon almost reaching level 20, becoming a wizard, Andy decided to quit, and hasn't MUDded seriously since. 8j. The Proliferation Of "The Wired Generation" ------------------------------------------------ Right now, Wired is a trendy magazine, quite popular, quite valid. However, anyone who has been a part of the FutureCulture Community when Andy ran it, and since then, would probably agree that Wired resembles FutureCulture in many respects, just in a different medium. FutureCulture came first. Andy sees this as alt.cyberpunk all over again, and it leaves, for the most part, a bad taste in his mouth. Kind of like black spit after a few cigarettes. While Andy has always encouraged the expansion of the Internet to all people in preparation for the coming of The Jetsonian Age, he still finds it difficult to cohabitate with the followers -- The Wired Generation -- those people whose first exposure to this culture came from that magazine. Thus, Andy sees the expansion of the Internet, and The Wired Generation itself, very much like the expansion and settling of the United States in the 1700's and 1800's. Andy has chosen to take a bit of a different route, than, witnessed by his current home on the net -- tribe. 8k. Tribe ---------- Join the tribe: ___________________________________________________________________________ ___|\____________________________ \__ ___________________________\ | || ___\|\ |\ ______ | || | | || |_____ / ____ \ | || | | || ____ \\ ____/ \| \| \||_______/ \______\ a new concept in virtual communities. >From it's inception, cyberspace has promoted communities based on mutual interest. You certainly don't need to look very far across the Internet to see communities formulated "For the purpose of...". Suppose the slate is wiped clean. Suppose, in real life, a continent rises from the depths of Pacific waters to welcome people of all races, creeds, beliefs, to express whatever they wish. The continent may prove itself spectacular or may reach a fiery death, but at the least it would be interesting to see what happens. With that in mind, Andy brings you tribe. tribe is an e-mail list on the Internet with no specific purpose, and anyone is welcome to join to discuss anything they wish. If you are interested in tribe, please send mail to: listserv@lists.colorado.edu with a message body containing: info tribe ___________________________________________________________________________ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8l. Getting In Touch With Andy ------------------------------- Feel free to contact Andy over the net, by sending email to: hawks@rintintin.colorado.edu You might also want to finger him at that address for some interesting information. However, please realize that Andy is probably only going to delete mail that has to do with FutureCulture, comments on the concept of P-FAQs, and criticisms of this file or his life. You can also find Andy on IRC as either "andy" (always lowercase, not the nickserv-registered andy), or, if taken, "andy_". I am almost always on #leri, #mindvox, #tribe, or hanging out in limbo. Andy would like to hear any more questions you may have about him, that he may add or change this file. 9. Where Do We Go From Here? ============================= "Oh and I guess, I just don't know." -Velvet Underground "For how much longer can I howl into this wind." -The Cure "Don't walk away, in silence." -Joy Division